U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
