dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
