So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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