he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my shit smells like andre
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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