we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
