Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish i was in the wii world.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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