I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As shirtless as possible
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
