just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
