your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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