Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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