We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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