We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
