i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
