just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
