____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
