"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
