i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
