Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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