um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
