Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
