I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
