Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
