Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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