A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
