You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
