i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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