we're blogging at a bar
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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