do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
