Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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