I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
