We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
