so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
