i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
