things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
