3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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