38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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