Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
