I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
