sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
