I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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