I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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