I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
