So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize