Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize