Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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