oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
