I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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