you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize