WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
