Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
