i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
