remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
