Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
