Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
