And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We're too hungover to prance.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
