I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
