hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
